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shokkuwebu:

servojob:

shokkuwebu:

i see a lot of people go “OHHH CYCLONUS/TAILGATE IS FATHER/SON RELATIONSHIP” 

and i just imagine tailgate being like “oh man i cant wait to frag cyclonus” 

and the other robots are just like

"awww, so hes like a father to you, huh?"

and tailgate is just

staring at them

before he finally mutters

"no im gonna fuck him right in the pussy what the fuck"

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……..my hand slipped…

THIS IS AMAZING

I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away…

Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

David Wong (via thatlitsite)
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